Thursday, August 28, 2008

He might blow up and kill this man

The word ghetto gets thrown around a lot and I dislike that. White girls from the G.T.A. use it like they should use birth control. I'm not going to say I'm more familiar with ghettoness then anybody else but I think I have a pretty good definition. It's shit that is fucking crazy and would not make sense to anybody outside of ghetto area or mentality but is completely normal inside of said area and mentality. Now I had the opportunity to go to a "cosmopolitan" (see I didn't use the word ghetto!) high school where I got to meet an interesting cast of characters. Whenever we would have freestyle hip hop battles there was this obese kid who would come on the mic and just say so-so-so-somalia (like the no-no-no-notorious in the duran duran/biggie song) for like 2 minutes straight. Once during a math test I saw him out the window sprinting like an obese cheetah running away from the cops (who finally got him and beat him up), I proceeded to write the test. People wouldn't even crowd around the window for stuff like this. But what takes the cake was a time I was hanging out at the blair bus station and I met my Ethiopian friend who I think had been kicked out of school at this point with a vietnamese/cambodian thug. I was like "what's up?" and the south east asian dude starts mime-ing shit. Ethiopia goes "oh you don't understand?" and start translating the hood charades of this mute thug. No one knows sign language on the street so he would just act out what he wanted to say. He also tried to sell me pills. Anyways, just to say that a G-Unit video isn't ghetto, today you are going to see some third world shit.

Ok first up is the highest budget of the artists. MAVADO and BUSY SIGNAL 2 bigtime jamaican dancehall singers. I discovered them when I won an x rated dancehall compilation in a dice game (seriously, the pot was like 90$, cds and chocolate bars). I 4-5-6ed that shit. So all summer 2006 and 2007 I listened to the most vulgar music ever, dancehall. I was at a house party with a reggae theme and the dj was playing awesome dancehall and the hippie who was running it got mad and said "I hired you to play fucking reggae man what is this shit?"... In his mind I think reggae exclusively consisted of Bob Marley and Bedouin Soundcrap. I give you BADMAN PLACE. The song is about badmen and the places they reside at.

Next we have AFRIKAN BOY. You might know him from M.I.A.'s album Kala. He is a Nigerian now living in London and he raps almost unintelligibly about how 5 dollars is a fucking lot in Africa. His flow is amazing. I hate how white people are all about djembes and feeling at one with the rythm of the dark continent. Fuck that, this is the real shit. The song has no title, it's a random youtube freestyle from his room.

Finally we have a group I recently discovered, BARIKAD CREW from Haïti. This is the first Haitian hip hop not from NYC or Montréal I have ever heard. I am so happy they got over calypso and merengue. They sing in créole a language you can sort of understand if you speak French, key word being SORT OF. 3 members of the group recently died in a horrible car crash/electrocution and people mourned big time all over the country. These guys are the be all end all KINGS of créole hip hop. Some members were arrested and it nearly started a riot. Haiti is the poorest country in the western hemisphere. I truly believe that BARIKAD CREW could start a coup if they wanted to. If you were reading my reggaeton post you can see this song employs a modified dem bow beat. From what I gather the song is about pencils, it's called TAY KREYON. Check it out for real.

Colonized countries have more than old traditional music to offer us you orientalist bitches.

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