Let's start with the most obvious alleged peder-ass. MICHAEL FUCKIN JACKSON. I think the proof that he's a secret member of NAMBLA is that I loved him so much from age 4 to 8. Looking back I feel used and ashamed (LOLZ). Anyways much like the beltway sniper he's the closest thing to a comic book super villain we will ever have in real life. An incredibley talented tragic hero/villain made into a monster by the evils of celebrity. As a society we literally transformed him into a monstrous version of his once innocent young self. Whoa, that was some out there thinking. O.K. He's so good he needs 2 videos. first one is SMOOTH CRIMINAL (a kareoke fav of mine). I would like to think he was humming this when he beat his charges like rocky.
Next up BEAT IT. The most realistic potrayal of urban blight this side of The Wire.
Let's rewind the clock to a kinder gentler time when underaged love and ince
st was not as badly looked down upon. The original punk JERRY LEE LEWIS! Watching old footage you can really see this guy was way ahead of his time (musically, haha). Seeing him go you can see he's 1000% at one with his art getting his brain flooded by music created dopamine. Anyways for those who don't know he married his 13 year old cousin (twice removed). It pretty much ruined his career. "The Killer" would have been bigger than the "The King" had he not been from rural buttfuck louisiana where marrying your young cousin was legal and not abnormal. Oh well. If my next GF is short enough I would love to go as Jerry Lee and Myra Gale Lewis for Halloween. Song is WHOLE LOT OF SHAKIN GOING ON.This next paragraph is going to come off as completely weird but please don't freak out. Not only is R. KELLY one of my favorite artists but he's a personal inspiration of mine. Sure he has a tape of himself getting it on with a 14 year old girl but when he had the entire world against him and what did he do? He put his chin up, yelled fuck the haters and made more awesome music. How can you hate on a man who would actually say this: "I'm the Ali of today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now." All haters can do is hate. Enjoy IGNITION (REMIX) and a song that I really love in a totally non ironic way I WISH.
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